Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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