u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The beer is more important than you right now.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
