I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
