Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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