so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
