is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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