He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
