her vagine was all disorganized.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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