it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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