Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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