dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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