I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she told me i tasted like america
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
