Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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