Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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