I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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