i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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