and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
