I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
