Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
