like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
