i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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