I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
