$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
