Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
