Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
