I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
