Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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