I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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