My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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