Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
