thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
