I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
