and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
areolas are like halos for boobs.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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