Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you mean i was at the winter classic?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We left the knife in your bed.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
