That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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