I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
