sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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