I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
