hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have aggressive nipples.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
