...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
