Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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