is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
