Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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