I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
