Me too!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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