No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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