He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
