I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
