I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
