is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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